Why only Satan worshipers listen to metal

So, the newest musical craze these days is Despacito” so it only makes sense that I write a post about it too. Call me old fashioned or relic but the first thing I notice in a song are its lyrics. Now to make things a little complicated, the song is in Spanish but there are English translations available and before you blame me for taking translations that can’t be referenced back, this translation is from Billboard.

So here goes,

“Despacito – Luis Fonsi ft. Daddy Yankee

Make me wanna savour every moment slowly, slowly
You fit me, tailor-made love, how you put it on
Got the only key, know how to turn it on
The way you nibble on my ear, the only words I wanna hear
Baby, take it slow so we can last long

I want to smell your neck slowly
Let me whisper things in your ear
So that you’ll remember if you’re not with me
Slowly
I want to undress you with my kisses, slowly
I sign the walls of your labyrinth
And make your whole body a manuscript

I want to see your hair dance
I want to be your rhythm
And you show my mouth
Your favourite places
Let me surpass your danger zones
To make you scream
And you forget your last name

You know that your heart with mine makes you go bang-bang
You know that she is looking for my bang-bang
Come, taste from my mouth to see what it tastes like
I want to, I want to, I want to see how much love you can take in

We’re sticking together, little by little
When you kiss me with such skill
I see that you’re malice with tenderness
Step by step, smooth and gentle
We start sticking, little by little

We will do it on the beach in Puerto Rico
Till the waves scream ‘dear lord’
So that my seal stays with you”

As I said, it’s a beautiful song, the greatest creation after Leonardo Da Vinci’s Mona Lisa. It’s perfectly OK that this song has 3.5 billion views on YouTube, yeah, billion. Now if the comment section of YouTube reads something like, “This is the best song ever.” “Justin Bieber is so talented.” “Best despacito Best Best despacito, oh my god Good my music.” It makes complete sense that these song is number one or two for twelve straight weeks on music charts throughout the world.

Now I’ve a slightly lower IQ but I’m pretty sure that these song is about sex (and no, there isn’t anything wrong with that, I’m just pointing out).

Another beautiful song,

“Booty – Jennifer Lopez

Big, big booty, what you got a big booty
Big, big booty, what you got a big booty (My baby, uh)
You’re gorgeous
I mean you’re fine
You’re sexy
But most of all
You are just absolutely booty-full

Have you seen her
On the dance floor
She got the boom, shake the room
That’s the lightning and the thunder
You wanna meet her
You wanna touch her
See the light in her eyes
And it starts to make you wonder

All the sexy girls in the party
Go and grab a man, bring him to the dance floor
Go on let them jeans touch you while you’re dancing
It’s his birthday, give him what he ask for”

250 millions views, perfectly OK. Comment section: “Perfect song” “The music is so brilliant.” “How was JLo able to sing this song without crying? The lyrics are just so powerful and strong. She’s so strong.”

That’s it, I’ve no intention of glorifying the filth I hate so much, anymore.

Now let’s talk a little bit about Satan’s music, alright.

“Silvera – Gojira

Quit moaning about fate and change
Stand up on your feet and rise
With every fall you get the pain, you learn the lesson
Start now, open your eyes
Dead bodies falling from the sky
We are the ape with the vision of the killing
A rain of shame that fills the mines
No other blood in me but mine
Time to open your eyes to this genocide
When you clear your mind you see it all
You’re receiving the gold of a better life
When you change yourself, you change the world
Your heart is pounding in the brain
As they drag you naked in the mud
A devil’s dancing in the rain
How could you fall so low?
No! we will never let go!
Let us watch them die!
Time to open your eyes to this genocide
When you clear your mind you see it all
You’re receiving the gold of a better life
When you change yourself, you change the world.”

Stupid juvenile lyrics, who the hell wants to be the change, idiots.

“L’enfant Sauvage – Gojira

So long I’ve been trying to match
It doesn’t work
I’m trying
I don’t know
The apparition of this world
I try to deal with
I’ve killed the part of me
That was raging
The pain is gone
The denial
I’ve run away from institutions
I owe myself
Life
There’s no way
I will respond to this passion and anger
Flowing through me
There is light in this world I fight for
The reason you won’t leave this cage
Betray your child
The desire that you won’t serve to reveal yourself
Forgot to create your own life
Anger
Lies
Denial
This righteous anger
Boiling inside of us
Won’t last forever
Don’t fear to let it out
Branches are coming through,
The wolf is the master
The sky is all over me
I run on time.”

We go to shrinks for that, why would we introspect on our own, come on Gojira, use some common sense.

“Ruin – Lamb of God

The knowledge that seeking the favour of another
Means the murder of self.
This is the resolution
The end of all progress
The death of evolution
It bleeds all life away.
Silence speeds the path to the streams of solace that run so few and narrow.
Brooks that babble the sounds of torture.
You will one day rise
To flood the banks of the chosen.
This is the art of ruin.
This is the resolution
The end of all progress
The death of evolution
It bleeds all life away.
I will show you all that I have mastered
Fear. Pain. Hatred. Power.
This is the art of ruin.”

A murderer, an anti-Christ is giving life lessons, talk about hypocrisy, right?

“Cry for the moon – Epica

Follow your common sense
You cannot hide yourself behind a fairytale forever and ever
Only by revealing the whole truth can we disclose
The soul of this sick bulwark forever and ever
Forever and ever
Indoctrinated minds so very often
Contain sick thoughts
And commit most of the evil they preach against
Don’t try to convince me with messages from God
You accuse us of sins committed by yourselves
It’s easy to condemn without looking in the mirror
Behind the scenes opens reality
Eternal silence cries out for justice
Forgiveness is not for sale
Nor is the will to forget
Follow your common sense
You cannot hide yourself behind a fairytale forever and ever
Only by revealing the whole truth can we disclose
The soul of this sick bulwark forever and ever
Virginity has been stolen at very young ages
And the extinguisher loses it’s immunity
Morbid abuse of power in the garden of Eden
Where the apple gets a youthful face
Eternal silence cries out for justice
Forgiveness is not for sale
Nor is the will to forget
Follow your common sense
You cannot hide yourself behind a fairytale forever and ever
Only by revealing the whole truth can we disclose
The soul of this sick bulwark forever and ever
Forever and ever
Eternal silence cries out for justice
Forgiveness is not for sale
Nor is the will to forget
You can’t go on hiding yourself
Behind old fashioned fairytales
And keep washing your hands in innocence.”

Now it makes sense that the comment section of YouTube has comments like, “What a piece of shit? Gojira, what’s fucking wrong with you?” “This kind of music promotes violence.” “These are nothing more than some untalented stoners that do not know anything about music.” “This is why metal is only for psychopaths, rapists and murderers.” Even if all four songs combined do not cross 20 million views, it’s perfectly understandable. It’s only fair that these musicians struggle with proper marketing, ridicule by the studios, mainstream media. It’s perfect justice.

God, I’ve never felt more proud of the fact that I hate poop, sorry, pop. If only killing idiots was allowed. I’m not an asshole all the time, but dude, I really want to punch so many people in the face right now. If only I was too dead to not care.

In case I offended you, let me soothe your broken ego, so unfuck you or whatever.

Enough of my rants, let me leave you with your priceless music.