So, think of the most exaggerated metaphor you can think of, you know, the kinds of, it’s as important as air, as important as water, as important as coffee. You get the idea, right?
I am presuming that everyone who is reading this post at this moment knows of my undying love for Heavy Metal. In case you didn’t, um, it’s the loudest, craziest, and most meaningful kind of music you can think of. You might not agree with the last part, after all, they consists nothing more than distorted guitars, right? Well, anyways. I am in a good mood, so I’ll let that pass.
Now imagine my surprise when I found out that Rolling Stone has a 100 Greatest Heavy Metal Albums list. Yeah, even I was surprised. How the heck did the devil music get such appreciation by the greatest magazine to grace God’s great green earth? In case, it appears that I am trying to be pretentious, it’s because I am.
Whenever I talk about music, I get unbelievably passionate. You do not want to argue with me in one of those scenarios.
Well, back to the matter at hand. 100 Greatest Metal List and without even giving it a glance, I predicted the artists that’ll be featured in top 20. Yeah, we lack originality, so, there are only few good albums. Don’t worry though, I am pretty sure there is a new Justin Bieber in the market. Enjoy.
All right, artists in top 20, if any of you listen to heavy metal, would you like to guess?
Take a moment.
Let’s see how unoriginal we are.
Black Sabbath. Judas Priest. Iron Maiden. Metallica. Slayer. Megadeth. Anthrax. Motorhead. Ozzy Osbourne. Pantera. Tool.
Now imagine the pride I felt when I realized I’ve devoured the entire discography of the above mentioned bands.
Should I stop, you know, before I start creating eloquent metaphors in praise of Satan’s music? Ahh, who cares, after all, metal signifies rebellion, right?
If you do decide to give the list a read of your own, you might find a trend, it is filled with albums of legends, you know, the bands that were formed in 70s, 80s, some from 90s. Now it might make you worry, if you are a metalhead and happy if you love you know who.
Let me add my two cent knowledge to a million dollar debate. Told you, I can come up with strange and awkward metaphors too. Maybe I should write pop songs too?
Let’s brainstorm, one clichéd metaphor for sex, one clichéd metaphor for back-bitching, four lines to signify the heart break, you know, where the boy cheats on the girl with her best friend or the vice-versa. Hmm, what else? Any ideas?
Let’s leave it then, why glorify something that stupid pout making lip-gloss wearing girls will do without any effort?
Now, back to the decline of metal. How about we summon Satan and sacrifice virgins or something?
As an afterthought, did I really make any point or just rambled like a fool?