I Can’t Cry Anymore

Creative fiction

The entire landscape was covered with fog, as far as your eyes could see. Everything covered in one or another gloomy shade of gray. 

In the eerie silence of gray sky, a visceral scream suddenly echoed through.

A scream that needed an escape for thirty long years. Thirty years of repressed anger, frustration, and misery. Thirty years of hiding your weaknesses because you were a man and men don’t cry.

You know, it’s strange.

I’ve avoided crying so much in my life, my eyes don’t even get wet anymore. At least not with the tears.

I can’t cry anymore. No matter how much I try.

I’ve depleted myself.

I’ve depleted my soul to the extent that if the entire world ends up burning, I wouldn’t care. I’d still be numb.

If you’re anything like me, you’d be more interested in the gut wrenching scream rather than the scenary.

Would you let the person who loves you the most see you like that? Crawled on the dirt, eyes wet, and screaming as if someone just pulled your heart out.

I wouldn’t.

Not in this lifetime.


Inktober 2017 – Day Eleven Entry – Emptiness of Silence

Today I was re-reading some of my earlier writings. For example, the one I am about to share with you was written in November 2016. And before you end finding similarity between this and, “A Love Story?” Let me save you some trouble. There are lot of similarities. After all, first novels are always auto-biographical. I wanted to write my own story and I did started with this short story (Though there are heavily fictionalized scenes). Somewhere in-between writing this, I gave up on it and simply stopped writing prose altogether.

In that particular period, I only focused on poetry. Now, when I stared, “A Love Story?” it was a random experiment and I ended up using this as a framework for certain scenes. So bear with me if you think I am a horrible writer. Other than that, enjoy.


Emptiness of Silence

Part One

It’s an old saying, “It’s the darkest before dawn.” Well I’m still waiting for that first ray of sunshine. It’s my story and I’ll tell it exactly the way I want to. If you’re asking why so gloomy, well it’s because my little adventure on this little shitsville has been anything but a gloomy Sunday.

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The Dying Land

“And thousands had sunk on the ground overpowered; the weary to sleep, and the wounded to die.”

The Soldier’s Dream – Thomas Campbell (1909)

Civilizations have grown and so they have fallen. This is the bitter truth of our planet which has seen its fair share of civilization since the first settlers settled on its brazen land. The times couldn’t have been rougher. The world couldn’t have been destroyed more. For the basic instinct of mankind ultimately lead to its demise. But the will to survive in face of such adversity is what separates us from other living things.

The war was almost over by then. A finite struggle that dragged until infinity. Almost five months of agony, five months of struggle. The news couldn’t have come at better time for it sure seemed like a storm was coming. But on that night, the sky was beautiful, as beautiful as the night can be. Shimmering stars, floating clouds. The veil of night finally lowering on the harshness of the sun in that scorched land.

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