If I could start all over again, there are so many things, so many memories, so many questions I’d like to relive. I talked to one of my friends on my blog and she said, writing is like catharsis. So there is only one thing right now I’d be more than happy to fall in love all over again. Baby steps to writing. An amble through words.
When I decided to start writing, I was already a prolific watcher (Not writer) of SciFi, crime thriller, spy thrillers and fantasy dramas, you know, Inception, Lord of Rings, The Bourne Trilogy, those kind of things.
So it made sense that I started writing with a crime thriller set in apocalyptic future, don’t laugh. I struggled for way too long, more than I should have, to understand one simple fact, write what you know.
I don’t know whether I’m talking to my past self or future self, who knows, I surely don’t. But it is clear I’m talking to a part of myself. So for that part of me, relax, you don’t have to be Neruda, Dickens, Doyle or Kafka. You’re Nitesh Mishra, take pride in that. Make your peace with that.
Those rhymes that you consider silly, those broken prose that you consider rambling, they were the first steps of this everlasting ladder you are climbing. A ladder which doesn’t have an end but the journey. A journey which will not make you a better man or woman but a better human. A ladder on which if you look closely you’ll find your God, you’re definition of everything you will ever look for. All you need to do, my dear old or new self, is just write words, one after another, and stop and then write some more.
See, my prideful one, we are doing it right now. We are creating a dream, we are making a reality, we are giving voice to our convoluted thoughts, we have finally tamed the anger which has seared our heart for so long.
But this time around, do not hesitate to share. Because I did share it, though after some convincing, and it has been a wonderful journey, as is evident by the words I’m writing. I’ll recite a poem for you, a poem you wrote in a moment of inspiration, in mere 30 seconds.
“My wings of life were long forgotten,
Burned and smoked.
My thoughts they are blanketed by bitter nights,
I muddy the wings of despair I never chose
Yet I take a flight through burning sky.”
Soar your wings and fly, even if it hurts, even if it’s not pleasant, even if it’s not conventional, take your flight.
We still talk, you and I, my prideful one. We still doubt. But we doubt because we believe. We believe that these words, they empower us, they are healing us, one memory at a time. Our catharsis.
So write, my dear friend, write regardless of spite, regardless of doubts, regardless of pain. Baby steps. Write one word at a time.
Happiness is finding your true self. We are happy, we are content. I know it’s seems impossible to you, I know you do not believe you deserve happiness, but I am here to tell you, we found it. We are happy. We are happy that we found our voice. A voice which was screaming to be set free. These words, these doubts, these voices, they stayed with us through the worst of time, they faced the storm that shimmered in us for so long. Tell me, my prideful one, should we just abandon them, would that be fair, to them or to us?
We all lie to ourselves, we all are afraid to admit to our imperfections. For you, it’s a bit more difficult than others, you know, your whole life you have lived with the belief that you are better than everyone else and now it’s difficult to step up to your own identity. War is the result of conflicts of ego, the war we fight is the result of our identity. We had been away, searching for a reason, fighting all our demons for maybe a little too long. We deserve happiness, my prideful one.
Take these baby steps.
Write. Just write.
Do not let anyone judge you. We did it once, we still feel regrets for it.
And if all else fails, just remember, “If you’re 555 then I’m 666.” You’ll know what I’m talking about.
Now in IBMC, I’ve broken certain rules, for example, in this particular post I combined two of the challenges because I believe both of those tasks worked well in one coherent prose. So, I’ll let Prakash decide whether I’ve finished the Incredible Blogger Marathon Challenge or not.